Ode To A Dead Parrot

(To all the other Monty Python fans out there! I wrote this cra...I mean poem, in about five minutes. Enjoy!)

I returned me bird to the ole pet store
For obviously he was no more.
Quietly I snuck him in
And tried to stuff him in the bin
When HO! I saw before me eyes
The biggest and the worst surprise -
The clerk - twat said m...e bird was dozin' !
Then he started with his bloody posin'
Talkin' rot: "'He's not dead, he's resting!"
I straight away began to testing;
Thumpin' the parrot against the desk!
Yelling in his ear "PRETTY POLLY!" - was he at rest?
I think he's dead! He's nailed to his perch!
Then began the slimy search
For another reason to keep me there:
"He's pinin' for the fjords!" clerk said.
I replied "He's pushing up daisies - he's DEAD!"
"Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Blue!"
But what good is that now his time is through?
"I've got a nice slug..." he finally replied.
But everything I buy from this store has....died.
*sniffs*

© Billie Mann 2006

Link to video of this classic skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218